


My Crazy Life 2

by NordicPossession



Series: Humor [2]
Category: OCs - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mummy: The Animated Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22326115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NordicPossession/pseuds/NordicPossession
Relationships: Friends - Relationship
Series: Humor [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607026





	My Crazy Life 2

**Kylo Ren:** _*Comes running into the house.*_ “Mommy! Mommy! Somebody call the doctor! I'm hyperventilating!” _*proceeds to barf on me.*_  
**Imhotep:** _*comes into the room where Kylo and I are.*_ “Look at this. Cal Ripken signed my hat.”  
**Me:** “That's great. Look at this. Kylo Ren puked on my shirt.”  
**Imhotep:** _*looks and is disgusted.*_ “I’m not trading!”  
_*Maul then walks into the room where we all are looks at me then at Kylo Ren.*_  
**Maul:** “He's fooling around. That's what he does. He's like one of those guys. What do you call them?”  
**Me:** “An idiot!” _*I walk out of the room to go change.*_  
————————————————  
**Maul:** _*picks up a trophy that Imhotep got.*_ “When did he get this?”  
**Me:** “That's an award Imhotep got for his sports column.”  
**Maul:** “Never ends for Imhotep. Poor Maul. Everybody loves Imhotep. I go to work, people shoot at me. Imhotep goes to work, people do the wave. Then he sits down, eats a hot dog, doodles on a piece of paper and they give him a trophy for it.”  
**Me:** “To tell you the truth, I think that Imhotep is wasting his life writing sports. I mean, writers should be writing short stories and poetry.”  
**Imhotep:** *overhears what Maul and I are talking about.* “You think I'm wasting my life?”  
**Me:** “It's different with you, dear.”  
**Maul:** _*sarcastically says*_ “We're all crying buckets here.”  
**Imhotep:** “You're insulting me.” _*Imhotep leaves the room.*_  
————————————————  
**Blee:** _*comes into the room I’m in.*_ “Your birthday gift to me finally came this morning. Did you know you sent me a box of pears?”  
**Me:** “Yeah.”  
**Blee:** “From a place called Fruit-of-the-Month?”  
**Me:** “That's right. How are they?” **Blee:** “They're very nice pears. But there are so many of them. There are over a dozen pears. What am I supposed to do with all those pears?”  
**Me:** “I think you're supposed to eat them.”  
**Blee:** “Myself?”  
**Me:** “You and Imhotep and Maul.”  
**Blee:** “How many pears can Maul and Imhotep eat? I appreciate the thought, but please, don't ever send us any more fruit again. Thanks.”  
**Me:** “Another box is coming next month.”  
**Blee:** “What? More pears?”  
**Me:** “No. It's a different fruit every month.”  
**Blee:** “Every month!?” _*Blee starts freaking out.*_  
**Me:** “Yes. That's why they call it Fruit-of-the-Month Club.”  
**Blee:** _*seriously freaking out now.*_ “It's a club!?! Oh, my God!!! What do I do with all this fruit!?!”  
**Me:** “Most people like it, Blee! You share it with all your friends!”  
**Blee:** “Which friends!?!”  
**Me:** “Maul and Imhotep!”  
**Blee:** “Maul and Imhotep buy their own fruit!!! Why did you do this to me!?! My God I can't talk!!! There's too much fruit in the house!!!”  
**Imhotep:** _*Imhotep walks into the room.*_ “What is happening?”  
**Me:** “I'm sorry, Blee!” _*sees Imhotep standing behind me.*_ “Hey, Imhotep.”  
**Blee:** _*sees Imhotep. Starts talking to him.*_ “Do you know that the fruit keeps coming month after month!?! She’s got us in some kind of a cult!!!”  
**Me:** _*is all exasperated by now.*_ “It's not a cult, it's a club.”  
**Imhotep:** “What do you mean, month after month? For how long?”  
**Me:** “A year.”  
**Blee:** “My God, are you out of your mind!?!”  
**Me:** “Sorry. I'm so sorry, Blee!”  
**Imhotep:** “What do you think we are Luba!? Invalids!? That we can't go out and get our own fruit!?”  
**Blee:** “I tried to tell her!!”  
**Me:** “All right, I'm canceling the fruit club!” _*throws hands up into the air.*_  
**Blee:** “Oh, good. Thank you, Luba. And don't do that again! Like I don't have enough problems.....” _*walks out of the room.*_  
**Me:** _*groans and facepalms.*_ “I should have known better.....why did I do that.....especially with Blee, the only person on planet Earth whom treats a box of fruit like it’s plutonium!?”


End file.
